Suicide
by klaines
Summary: After Kurt's suicide attempt, he's sent to a mental health hospital and there he meets Blaine, the first person who understands and listens to him. Warnings: attempt to suicide, cutting, depression, violence.
1. Chapter 1

_Not edited, mentions of suicide_

* * *

"Don't worry, sweetie, I will just check your blood pressure." The woman dressed in a paramedic uniform whispered.

My heard was pounding, my body was shaking, my vision was blur, I couldn't control the things I was saying, I felt my body cold, my head hurt, my legs were trembling, my body wasn't in my control anymore.

I was sitting on the end of the mattress that was on the floor. The flashes of what had happened wouldn't leave my head, they were coming and going and coming. I couldn't stop crying, tying my hands with each other, stroking one another.

The cops were inside my room. MY room, why did they do this to me? Call the cops and just let them in my room, my sanctuary, my private space, my own little kingdom.

"Are you in any drugs, honey?" The woman asked sweetly, and I was barely able to hear her because of all the fizzing around the room.

"N-no." I whispered, tears falling down my cheeks, I could feel the taste of them in my mouth and my eyes burning because of the bright light around his room. "I-I," I sobbed loudly, I wasn't drugged, but I felt drugged and really drunk. "I just wanna get out of here." I cried out.

"Don't worry, honey." The woman told me with a sympathetic smile as she finished taking my pressure. "Just breath, honey, breath."

I inhaled slowly, trying to calm myself down. According to the screen the woman was holding, my heart was beating faster than I thought. I exhaled as slow as I could, but that was only making me more nervous, watching James and Carole talking to the cops.

James looked angry and Carole was crying a lot. He wasn't letting her talk at all and James was talking and talking, but I couldn't—I didn't want to hear him. I knew what he was saying, but I didn't want to face it all. He was probably telling the cop about how I am the worst and weakest faggot in the world and how I should've died.

I inhaled deeply again and smiled at the young lady checking me up. "Honey, are you alright to talk to the officers?" She asked sweetly, putting all her equipment away.

I nodded. I wasn't ready, I just really really wanted To leave that place already.

The woman helped me standing up and walked me to the cops that were now all in silence, looking at me like I was some sort of freak.

"Okay, kid, we need you to explain us what happened with details." The cop said firmly.

I tried to smile but it seemed so impossible. I knew my eyes were red and I looked like ship but I couldn't give a ship about that right now. I tried to speak but my throat hurt so bad and all that came out of my mouth was a dry cough.

The paramedic slapped my back softly, helping me to breath properly. I inhaled slowly and exhaled the same way, preparing myself to talk.

"I just—" I sighed. "I just wanna get out of here."

The officer nodded and gave me a nod, his mustache weirdly moving. The other guy grinned at me, weirdly grinned and then nodded too.

"Okay, we want you to be sure of what you want us to do because there's not much." The other officer said softly. He was definitely gay. "We can take him to the hospital, but it will be on his permanent record, everywhere he goes for the rest of his life he'll have a record on the—"

"It's fine," James said rudely interrupting the cop, annoyed by his soft and high-pitched voice, just like mine. "This fagg—boy needs to get some treatment."

The cop looked offended by the almost use of the offensive word, but I wasn't. I was used to it.

"Okay, then." The cop sighed, finishing scribbling some stuff down. "Well, we already have all his informations, we will take you now, do you want to some time to talk to your parents—"

"I'm fine," I said, and I know I was rude, but I was just tired.

I stormed out of the room but the other cops followed me, telling me to slow down and shit, I sighed angrily, but I didn't say anything.

"Sorry," I whispered, trying to be polite.

"It's alright, kid." The gay cop said smirking. "Look, sweetie, we'll have to handcuff you—"

"What?" I asked, sounding surprised and angry. I hadn't committed a crime or stolen anything and I'm not dangerous. Why had the wanted to handcuff me.

"I'm sorry." The officer sighed, Officer Ann according to the badge. "It's the policy." He whispered guiding Me out of the house.

I sighed. "What now?" I asked when we stopped in front of his police car.

"I will handcuff you," he sighed, taking the handcuffs out of his pocket. "We'll go to the nearest hospital and they will take care of you." He said sweetly as he finished handcuffing me.

I finally stopped crying. "I hate this." I whispered, talking about the handcuffs.

"They suck, right?" The guy chuckled, opening the car door for me. "Do you want help getting in?" He asked, watching me struggling with the handcuffs.

I shook my head no. "It's fine." I whispered, jumping in the car, with a lot of struggle, though. The guy giggled, leaning closer to me. He buckled my seatbelt because, well my hands were cuffed.

All the other cops were in the front of my house now, talking and talking. It was weird. I couldn't understand why would they bring that huge paramedic car just for me? I asked myself that a lot as I watched them driving away.

It was really uncomfortable being inside a police car. People would probably think that that was cool, but it wasn't, not at all. It sucked, I felt stuck and it was uncomfortable and it hurt a lot. But at least it wasn't tight, that was very kinky though. It made me think of my ex. Sam, I mean.

I sighed as the gay guy's partner entered the car. "Hey kid!" The guy greeted me excitedly.

"Hi." I said quietly.

"Don't worry, honey." Officer Ann said softly, probably realizing how sad I looked. "Everything is gonna be fine. And think about the good side! You'll be able to tell all of your friends that you rode on a cop's cool car!"

After a long time without smiling, I giggled loudly, and the guy smiled at me.

"By the way, the guys at the hospital we are taking you are amazingly nice, you'll see!" The cop smiled.

I nodded, going back to my own little world. We spend a lot of time in front of the house. The cop with the mustache was fighting the other cop, something about him being unprofessional.

Well as I heard them discussing and stared out at the view, I grunted lowly because of my hands cuffed close to my ass, I couldn't stop regretting everything.

I just wanted everything to work out and it didn't.

I fell asleep. I was really tired, really tired. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't getting much sleep that time, scared of everything.

Suddenly I see myself in a ER room, lying in a weird bed, really warm sheets watching people running around, old sick people, a guy who couldn't speak English looking sick, a woman in a bed screaming about her baby, a old man in a wheelchair telling a nurse about his times in the war, a kid who looked annoyed, with her arms crossed and a really, like really hot guy looking back me.

The guy wasn't in a room. There weren't probably rooms enough for all people because looking around, you could see it was a busy day. The guy was in a blue gown, blue socks and his hair was wet and he looked sexy.

I know it wasn't the appropriated moment for me to think that but damn. His bed was placed in a perfect spot outside the room for Me to see him, and I liked that.

I had been waiting for someone to see me or whatever for a while and I liked to see that young handsome boy with his nice curly hair and tanned skin as a good distraction.

He looked at me again, now half-smiling and then looking down, embarrassed.

I wondered why would he be there. He was beautiful, nice, probably straight. He looked like a guy whose life was perfect. He probably had a upset stomach or something.

My thoughts were interrupted by a blond old woman with curly hair and blue eyes stepping in front of my vision of Blaine.

"Hey!" She said excitedly.

"Hi." I replied, shyly.

"I'm Janice, what's your name?" She asked me, softly.

"I-I'm Kurt." I whispered, looking at her nurse uniform.

"Nice name! So you have a nickname, honey?" She was so sweet. I was surprised because no one has been this sweet to me since my dad died.

"No," I could feel my voice was shaky. "Just…just Kurt." I nodded.

"Alright," she smiled. "Okay, this," she showed me a blue gown, wrapped around socks. "Is what you'll have to wear while you're here." She smiled. "You can keep your underwear, but you gotta take the rest off."

I nodded.

"And we gotta collect your urine for tests so this," She showed me a small plastic cup with a red cap. "Is where the pee-pee goes."

I chuckled.

"That's what I like," she smiled. "Bright smiles, bright smiles." She told me, leaving the gown and cup on my lap.

I sighed.

"Okay, so, you're probably gonna go to another hospital because you're under eighteen so…we won't see each other again." She pouted. "The girl named Nancy—she's new, don't take it too hard on her—" I chuckled again, not being able to stop myself. "She'll take some blood from you and ask you how are you feeling okay? Your parents already signed the papers, transference paper and all, so, all settled, you're probably leaving tomorrow."

I nodded and gave her a half-smile. "Okay." I whispered.

She nodded too "Good, you'll find the bathroom easily." She said, leaving the room."

I was confused. Was I supposed to go change now or wait for the girl or I dog know. I sighed, jumping out of the bed quickly. Was I supposed to talk around only wearing socks? Wasn't that gross? Like all the doctors walk around with disgusting shoes that stepped where sick people probably peed or whatever and I was supposed to walk on it only wearing socks.

My thoughts were again interrupted by the hot guy staring at me. He looked sad. He was frowning but sort of smiling. I he he was trying to smile at me but he was too sad for that.

I collected the urine, changed into hospital gowns, walked back to my room only in my socks, stepping on that dirty flor and just waited there.

I didn't like waiting. The hot guy wasn't there anymore so I didn't have a distraction. Waiting was bringing back all the bad memories and I hated that. I didn't have to worry anymore because someone entered the room.

"Hi, Kurt." A Good looking African-American guy greeted me with a wide smile. He was a doctor according to his uniform.

I tried hard to smile but It seemed impossible. "Hey."

"So," he sighed scribbling something on the paper over the clipboard. "What happened?"

"Well…I tried to kill myself." I said quickly and simple.

"Are you abused at home?" The doctor asked.

"No," I lied.

"Are you abused in any kind of way?l he asked, not looking at me.

"No," I lied again.

"Okay, then why?" He asked, finally looking up at me.

"Tired," I liked.

"Okay, I will talk to the guys and we'll see." The doctor said quickly and smiled, leaving the room.

I sighed. Waiting and waiting for a bit. I kept thinking about everything. I wish my dad were there. I wish my mom were there. I sighed, clasping my hands together when someone entered the room.

"Hey," an African American girl with a brunette hair and blond highlights and wearing that green nurse outfit, complimented me with a big white smile. "I'm Nancy, you're Kurt, right?"

I nodded, pulling the white covers closer to my face.

"I'm gonna take a little blood okay?" She asked, preparing the needle.

"K," I nodded.

She took the blood, piercing the wrong spot three times in a roll, but finally being able to take it after a little help from me. I pointed to where she should pierce because I knew about these things.

It wasn't actually a needle like the usual needles it was a needle and it ended with a small flexible tube where they could take blood or apply meds through the vein easier.

"Aren't you gonna take it off?" I asked in a whisper, pouting to the needle on my right arm.

"Uh, no, honey. It stays there. In case of emergencies if we have to apply any meds, you know."

"Oh," I nodded. "Okay, sorry."

It hurt a little but it go unnoticeable after a while.

"So, this." She showed Me a orange liquid in a cylindric little bottle. "Is called sedative. It will quickly make you sleep, so you don't have to worry about anything okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

"Tomorrow you'll be transferred to Jackson Mental Health hospital because there they have attendance for under 18 kids." She explained as she applied the medication through the small tube.

"Good, good." I said lowly.

"So, is that okay for you?" She asked smiling.

"Fine, I'm fine." I replied with a fake smile.

I stopped listening to her because my body got all weird, I couldn't feel it at all and it was weird, it was like I was dying, but I wasn't. I could see her mouth moving but I couldn't hear her. Then my eyes shut involuntarily and then everything went black.

The next thing I remember I was waking up in somewhere different. I felt the space around me moving and I was really confused, but I couldn't open my eyes. I tried to raise my torso but something was pulling me back.

I finally opened my eyes and I gasped loudly. I was in a small place and it looked like a truck or some kind of—

"Hey, kid." It was a ginger woman, she was good looking and sweet. She had a laptop on her lap and she was scribbling something.

"W-where am I?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"It's called an ambulance." She chuckled. "This is my partner Jake," she pointed to a guy who was telling the driver to change the radio station.

I had to turn my neck a lot to see what was happening and it was hurting now.

I knew that guy! He used to work for my dad and—

"Hey, Kurt. Remember me?" Jake said sweetly.

"Oh, yes." I said in a gasp, I didn't know if the could hear me but I didn't care. "Y-you worked for my dad, right?"

"Yeah," the guy sighed. "Good man Burt," he sighed again. "Good man."

I sighed and then gulped, nervously. "Can you guys give me more drugs so I can sleep again?" I asked, finally in a normal tone.

The three people in the van chuckled. "Don't worry, honey." The ginger woman whispered, stroking my hair. "You're gonna be alright, okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

"So, what happened, Kurt?" Jake asked, sitting by the ginger woman's side.

"I don't—I'd rather not talk about it." I whispered. "It's on my file."

"Oh, we know what happened." The ginger said smiling. "We just wanted to hear from you if you don't mind."

"I'd rather not talk about it." I said, closing my eyes.

I was really cold, really cold, I was shaking even if I was under covers.

"You okay?" Someone asked, I couldn't tell who.

"I—just cold." My lips were shivering.

"We're here!" The driver said.

"Okay, let's go, Jake!"

Jake stood up and walked to the huge door. He opened it and I closed my eyes when the sun light hit my eyes.

"What day is today?" I asked confused.

"January 10th, kid." Jake said as they took me out of the ambulance. "It a Thursday."

"Thursday?" I whispered to myself.

But it was a Tuesday when I left. I was so confused. It was so cold, my body was freezing my lips were shivering.

I watched the paramedics giving some papers to the woman at the front door and some guy opening the the big white door. I felt really dizzy and out of myself, like I was drunk or something. I coughed a little as they took me inside a big room.

The walls were colorful. It was a drawing of a see, there were colorful fishes drawn on the wall, not well drawn but yeah…there was an old TV on the middle and blue small little couches, united, two rolls of little couches in front of the TV. There was a glass wall in the middle of the room. There were gray plastic shelves with books and brown paper bags and some with plastic drawers on it. There was a X-box connected to the TV and Adventure time was on. I love adventure time. There was no one around besides to African-American people sitting side by side on two tables behind the little couches. There were probably 10 or 12 chairs around each table and the table where the two people were sitting was covered by papers.

There were doors around the room with small white boards by them, with names written on it. Those were probably the rooms where the kids slept. The door near the TV had a white board by it too and it had 'school' written on it. Whoah I was supposed to go to school in there? Fuck.

On the other side of the glass wall there was a shelf with a TV in the center and books and games on the other shelves. There was a round table in front of it with probably 9 chairs around it. There were two doors by the right side of the TV with the shelf and one by the left side. The board by one of the doors had 'laundry' written in it and on the other board by the other door was written 'kitchen'. The other door was probably another exit. I couldn't see what else was in the room, but I tried to.

The paramedics gave the woman and the man my paperwork and they smiled. They looked happy. Kurt wasn't paying attention on what they were saying, he could only pay attention on how cold it was.

Jake started unfastening the belts that were wrapped around me and I felt free, but even colder. Then I was standing, only in that gown and it was fucking freezing, I felt like I was going to die.

The paramedics left and the guy and the woman were both reading my paperwork. The guy was old, he was really old, he was wearing brown pants and a purple shirt, the woman was also old, she had her head pulled back in a ponytail and her clothes weren't so bad. They smiled at me sympathetically and the woman was talking I thought I should pay attention now.

"Do you have any clothes?" She asked me smiling.

Did I look like I had any clothes? "No." I answered quickly.

"Are you wearing anything with metal? Do you have shoelaces? Drugs?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Okay, so this is Mr. Franklin. He's gonna check you up okay?" She said still smiling, her smile was weird.

Check me up? As in exams and all? What?

Them the guy suddenly was getting closer to me and he was—was he about to touch me? I pushed his arm away and backed away a little, wide eyed. "What are you doing?" I asked, scared.

"Honey, he has to check if you have something under your gown, I'd do it but they only let men check on men." She explained.

"I-I," I strutted, scared as fuck. "I'd rather if you did it."

She nodded. "Okay."

It was weird, she touched my butt and my cock and my legs and it was weird as fuck, why would I hide something on my cock was that even possible.

"Okay, everything alright." She nodded.

I nodded back and smiled shyly.

"So Kurt, right? Kurt Hummel?" The guy asked frowning, looking down at his clipboard.

I nodded.

"Okay, your room is this," he pointed to the door next to us, where to woman was writing his name on the whiteboard. "You sleep, midnight snacks are at 8. It's room/shower time now, so you can stay in the room until 8PM and we'll call you when it's 8 okay?"

I looked up at the clock next to the TV and frowned. It was 7:00. What was I supposed to do all this time? I looked at the whiteboard next to the gray door of my room and frowned. Why was there a name written over mine? I had a fucking roommate? What? This—

"Wait, I have a roommate?" I asked frowning, sounding like a spoiled kid, looking at the name writing on the board. 'Blaine A.'.

"Yeah, if you didn't want to be here, you should have fucked up." Someone said from behind and Kurt turned around to see a good looking African-American guy, smirking at him. Kurt smirked back and looked down shyly.

He was wearing sweatpants and tight and see through undershirt, and he was very, very hot.

"Marcus, go back to your room!" The woman suddenly screamed at him. "It's room time, room time!"

"I hate that fucking room, it smells like shit." The guy complained.

"Language, young man!" Mr. Franklin said frowning. "You are in the observation room because you didn't behave well, if you had behaved like your mates, you'd be in your comfortable room like they are."

The guy—Marcus—sighed angrily. "This is a fucking prison." The guy complained, walking to the room that was not close to the others, it was on the other side of the glass wall.

The workers sighed as I stood there awkwardly. It was freezing.

"So, Kurt, tomorrow the doctor will see you and explain everything, okay?" Mr. Franklin explained.

I nodded.

"This," the woman had a brown paper bag on her hands and she handed it to me. "It's all you gonna need."

I nodded again, frowning.

"Any questions, Kurt?" The old man asked.

I shook my head no. They nodded. "You can go to your room now."

I sighed. I quickly opened the door and entered the room, wanting more than anything to cry.

But my first view was a tanned guy only wearing boxers, water droplets falling down his back and his wet curly hair. I licked my lips involuntarily and tried to look away, but it seemed impossible, he was so hot, why would he be here?

I gulped without realizing I did. I was holding the brown bag close to my chest, like hugging it and my legs were shivering.

The guy quickly turned around, probably scared because of the sound Kurt made and he frowned. He was really good looking. He had beautiful hazel eyes and his lips were so, they looked so soft. I tried to smile, but I couldn't.

He looked angry or surprise, I couldn't tell. I looked away, and saw the old bed that was probably my bed and it looked so uncomfortable, it didn't have sheets over it, it was just a mattress. I missed my comfortable feather pillows and my comforter. I sighed.

"Who are you?" The guy asked, still frozen where he was before.

"I'm, uh," I cleaned my throat, leaving the brown paper bag on the bed. "Kurt," I told him, not turning to face him.

"Okay, what are you doing here?" He said as I turned to face him.

"I'm—your roommate. I'm your roommate." I explained, my voice shaky.

"Oh," he sighed, drying his hair with the white towel. "I didn't know—they didn't tell me I'd have a roommate. Sorry." He said shyly.

I nodded. "It's alright," I smiled, checking what was in the paper bag. I found two sheets, a too small pillow, a small toothbrush still in the package, a mini toothpaste and a mini bottle of Johnson's baby shampoo. 'Tears no more' was written on the bottle. Did they think I was a fucking baby?

"You have to, uh—" the guy tried to talk but he sounded nervous. I turned to face him.

"What?" I asked, tilting my head a little.

"Make your bed, you have to make your bed." The guy explained.

"Oh…" I sighed.

"I'm Blaine," He said in a whisper, not moving a finger.

"I know." I told him, taking the pillow in my hands. "I uh…I saw your name on the whiteboard, the—"

"Oh, cool." He said, mostly to himself.

We stayed in silence for a while as I made my bed and he finished putting his clothes on. I finished organizing my things, quickly and wrapped the second blanket around my body.

The guy—Blaine, had 4 blanket, of different colors, he also had a small pile of clothes on the small bedside table and he had bottles of hair products and stuff like that. Why did he have that and I didn't? I frowned, frustrated, and let out a small grunt, sitting on bed, resting my back on the wall and hugging my knees.

Blaine was also sitting in bed, silently reading a book, sighing every turn of page. I frowned at him, how was he able to bring all that and I wasn't?

"How did you…" Blaine suddenly looked up at me, wide eyed, looking like a lost puppy. "How did you bring all this stuff in?"

"Uh…my friend brought me. Didn't your parents being anything to you?" He sounded more comfortable now.

"No," I mumbled. "They don't really care."

"Oh, I understand." He nodded. "Why are you here?"

My eyes went wide opened and then I frowned. "Why do you wanna know?"

"I just want to." He sighed, letting to of his book. "I saw you at the hospital back in Lima. You were crying a lot. The cops took you there, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"What happened? Did something—did you steal something?" His eyes were wide opened again, he looked adorable.

"No," I chuckled. "I didn't do anything against the law, Blaine."

Blaine smiled. "So why don't you tell me what happened, Kurt?"

I smiled, looking down at my knees. "Let's make a deal, then, okay?" I asked, still smiling. "You tell me what happened to you and I will tell what happened to me."

"That's very immature," he sounded sarcastic and then chuckled.

"Then you can say I'm immature, Blaine A." I said smirking, and after months of sadness, I finally felt sort of happy, and it felt good, but I didn't want to expect anything, the guy was probably straight.

Blaine chuckled again. "A is for Anderson." He explained.

I raised my eyebrows, still smiling. "Really? Not Abercrombie? Or, I don't know, Angel," I said that without realizing and regretted. Was I really flirting with a hot guy that was apparently straight in a mental health hospital? What's wrong with me?

Blaine chuckled, and I didn't expect to hear what came next. "You look more like an angel than I do."

I bit my lower lip to hold back my smile. "So, Blaine Anderson, what brings you here?"

"An ambulance." I giggled. "And a really hot paramedic with tight pants."

I chuckled, oh yeah, he was gay! Win, win. "Let's start with the easy questions then," I sighed, clasping my hands together, still smirking. "Where are you from, Mr. Anderson?"

"I'm from Westerville." He said simply, then smiled. His smile was breath-taking. He was probably the hottest guy I had ever seen.

"Then why were you in a hospital in Lima, so far from Westerville?" I asked, sounding like those talk show women.

"For me to answer that I will have to tell you other things. And before we actually start this, what guarantees me that you're gonna tell me everything like I'm telling you?" Blaine asked, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips.

I chuckled. "You'll have to trust me."

"Okay, I will." Blaine cooed.

"Simply like that? You're gonna trust a stranger in a mental health hospital? What if I am a crazy guy who's gonna kill you at night and steal your brain."

Blaine laughed out loud and his laugh was glorious. "Hm, I guess I will just go with my instincts. And you don't look like a guy who would harm anyone…" he sighed, looking at his feet. "Besides yourself."

I gasped, suddenly, really surprised. "Okay, let's start." I said trying to change subject. I really wanted to get distracted, and that seemed like the perfect opportunity.

"Shoot." He said, taking his hands on another with a serene expression.

"Why were you in a hospital in Lima," I asked pretending my hand was a microphone. "If you're from Westerville?"

I pointed my 'microphone' to him and he pretended he took it, pretending his hand was a microphone.

"Well, Kurt," he said with a different voice, just like they did when they were describing football games. "I am part of my school glee club, we were called the warblers." He explained and I suddenly smiled, he was in a glee club just like me! "And we went to Lima for an friendly competition with our fellas from another glee club, called—"

"New directions!" I completed his sentence excitedly. "I can't believe it!" I said excitedly.

"What? How do you know that?" He asked confused.

"I'm on the new directions!" I told him and he smiled widely, just like I did. "And I was going to this meeting, before well, things happened."

"So, we were going to meet anyways, right? Guess we are soulmate." Blaine joked.

I chuckled. "No such luck, Anderson." I joked. "I am crazy, remember?"

"You said that. I never agreed." Blaine said softly.

I smiled then sighed. "So, finish your explanation."

"Okay, so yeah, I went to Lima with my glee friends, but I wasn't feeling okay, then I tried to—well…"

"I'm not gonna judge you, Blaine." I told him in all seriousness, not smiling anymore. "I know we just met, but we are here for a reason, right?"

Blaine sighed and then smiled again. "Yeah," he nodded. "Yeah, so…"

"No pressure." I joked.

Blaine chuckled. "Okay, so we were at McKinley, that's probably where you go to, and well, I wasn't happy, I was so so sad and I gave up on everything. I was tired, I sang and didn't feel anything, so I ran up to the roof and…well,"

"You jumped?" I asked, wide eyed.

"No," Blaine explained. "A janitor named Chuck found me and told the principal."

"Oh…that sucks…"

"And since my mom is in North Carolina because of her work, they called my dad, who never really liked me." I nodded. "So…when my dad got there, he found me. There was an ambulance and they just needed to talk to my dad to know if they could take me…"

Blaine sighed and I knew he wanted to cry, but he didn't want to look weak. He sighed again and gulped, stroking his own hands, not looking at me anymore.

"Can we not talk about this sad stuff for now?" He asked, looking up again.

I nodded. "Okay, so…glee club, right?" I smirked.

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, I like to sing."

"Cool, cool." I nodded.

We were quickly interrupted by a guy called Mr. Brown that came in to check my temperature and blood pressure.

Blaine and I didn't talk again. I guess I just was too open to him, I don't know why, talking to him just felt right, like I finally found someone who understood me, but I guess I creeped him out like I always do.

Let's face it Kurt. You're pathetic. You're disgusting. You're way too thin, way too white, you look like you're fucking dead, mostly of your skin is covered by scars, admit it, you're disgusting. Yeah I am. No wonder why everybody forgot me or left me. I don't deserve friends, I don't deserve anyone. I can't even be friends with a guy in a fucking mental hospital.

I sighed. Blaine was asleep when the guy left, I guessed he didn't wanna talk to me. I probably made him uncomfortable. I really wanted to talk to him and be his friend, or apologize for I don't know…I don't even know what I did wrong. I don't even know what happened but I know I did something wrong because I'm always fucking things up.

I tried to sleep because there wasn't anything else to do. I thought about taking a shower but I didn't have any other clothes. Maybe I could have washed my boxers I don't know. I sighed.

I've always had trouble sleeping. Since my dad went to the hospital it got worst. I kept wishing that I could just sleep like normal people, actually my biggest dream was to be normal, because being normal is amazing, apparently.

Actually everybody appears to be happy, but the truth is, nobody actually is. What is happiness anyways? I don't even remember how being happy feels like. I don't even remember how it used to be before all these started. It all just disappeared. I didn't even have nice memories to distract myself with. My brain was filled with shit. I was picturing my brain as a dark space, a bright moon, a dark weird lake in a foggy dark night.

I was just lost in my thoughts and sadness, I didn't even realized I was crying, but I was.

I couldn't believe I was there, how did it all end up so fucked up? I used to be happy I had friends I had an amazing family, I even had a hot boyfriend and they all just suddenly left me and all the happiness went away and my body was pure sadness and frustration.

I wondered what I had done wrong. I couldn't understand anything, I was so confused. I sighed, but my thoughts were quickly interrupted by Mr. Brown calling us for midnight snacks.

I sighed angrily. I just wanted to die. I am such I fucking failure I couldn't even succeed on killing myself.

As I walked out of the room, I could feel and the sadness and regret on my shoulders, almost pulling me down.

The kids were all sitting around the TV. I just did what they did and sat on the last roll of blue little couches.

I sighed. Why did we have to watch Cartoon Network? Couldn't we watch something useful or I don't know maybe Funny Girl or Rent, fucking Animal Planet would be better than that. But my angriness left when Adventure Time started and I smiled.

Blaine suddenly sat by my side and smiled at me. Like a bright smile. He had two sandwiches in his hands and he handed me one.

"I love this episode." He murmured with his mouthful of sandwich.

I looked at the sandwich and wrinkled my nose. Blaine realized because he giggled, crossing his legs in an Indian style.

"It's PB&J, don't worry." He smiled, cleaning the front of his teeth. "It's good." He nodded, his eyes glued on the TV.

I chuckled, but I stopped paying attention when on the TV, Ice King was asking the vampire girl to help him to write a song.

I couldn't stop just staring at Blaine. He was just so beautiful. His hair was so perfect, his jaw line, I really wanted to bite it. His lips looked so soft, so kissable. His eyes were so perfect. I really wanted to suck on his Adam' apple, shit.

He smiled, and then looked at me, and then I realized he realized I was staring.

"What?" He asked smiling widely.

I shook my head, not able to pull back my huge smile. "Nothing."

Blaine looked at the TV again and I did too. "Come on, tell me." Blaine said a little louder, not facing me.

I was looking at him again. I couldn't stop, his face was so addicting. But this time I could look away before he turned his head to face me, and I just pretended I was actually paying attention on the Cartoon as I ate my sandwich.

Now he was staring at me. I could feel it. And that made me smile a lot.

"What?" I asked looking at Blaine, the same way he did to me.

We were both smiling like lunatics and I realized that. "You're just…" he sighed. "You're just…you know?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Yes?"

"You're just…" he scoffed. "Just—"

"Blaine, it's TV time, not talking time!" The woman that was watching us said way too loud. "Silence."

Blaine bit his lip probably trying not to smile and I did the same. I giggled and looked down, and after that, Blaine was the only thing I could look at.

We kept staring at each other and it was just…weird, but cute. I kept feeling that nervousness and the butterflies on my stomach, it just felt…I don't know just good.

"Okay, guys! Room time." The woman told us.

Most of the people in the room whined, complaining that Regular Show was coming up, but the woman just shrugged and said if the didn't went to bed, she'd cancel TV time the next day.

All the kids went to their rooms in silence, except that Marcus guy, who kept protesting and fighting everyone. I didn't want to listen though, I just wanted to go to my room and just talk to Blaine.

"Do you want a blanket or a sweater?" Blaine asked sweetly as he closed the door behind me. "You look cold."

I chuckled lowly. "I'm fine."

"Aw, come on. It's alright." He said, taking one of his blankets and handing two of them to me. "I have 4 more, it's fine."

I smiled shyly and took the blankets. They were really warm, but I fought the need of wrapping myself around them and just left them on my bed.

"Also," he said, taking the sweater from his brown bag. "You can have this," he said as he walked towards my bed and handed me a blue big sweater. "It's comfy."

Okay, he was the most adorable guy I had ever met. I smiled. "Thanks. You didn't have to—"

"It's more than fine. We are soulmates remember?" He joked.

I scoffed again. "Sure," I murmured as I put the sweater over the gown. "Thanks."

"Any time." He smiled.

I quickly lay in bed, wrapping the blankets around me, feeling the delicious sensation of the warm blankets hugging my body. I moaned, lowly and then smiled, closing my eyes.

Yeah, it was impossible. I couldn't sleep. After an hour lying there I couldn't just sleep. I looked over at Blaine and he was really, I don't know, I wondered if he was asleep.

But I didn't have to wonder because his sweet voice filled the room. "Are you asleep?"

I chuckled. "No."

"Oh, good." I could hear the noises of him moving in bed, and he was probably sitting to face me. I did the same.

I couldn't really see him because it was dark in the room, but he still looked pretty. The only light in the room was a small night light coming from the floor.

I rested my back on the wall and hugged my knees.

"Did I say something wrong? I mean…" Blaine wondered and I frowned.

"No! No, of course not!" I exclaimed a little too loud and then cleaned my throat. "I thought *I* had said something wrong?" I laughed nervously.

"Oh, okay." He smiled.

"So…Blaine." I said followed by a sighed.

"Yes, Kurt?" He smiled.

"Nothing." I cooed.

"I think we should restart our Q&A." Blaine said with a silly smile on his face and raising his eyebrows.

I scoffed and nodded. "Okay,"

"I start," he said, excitedly, not giving me space to say anything else. "Do you like musicals and if you do what's your favorite?"

"High school musical." I said, with a serious face and Blaine frowned. "Just kidding," I chuckled. "Wicked. You know wicked?"

"God, I love Wicked! I can't believe you like musicals!" He chuckled. Oh my god, he couldn't be more perfect.

"I do," I replied. "I guess we're really soulmates."

Blaine giggled lowly. "Duhhhhhhh." He smiled wider. "Next question, Kurtie."

"You're such a kid." I smiled. Adorable.

"I'm adorable." He joked. "Okay, the question is…" he stopped talking for a second to leave some suspension. "Do you like magazines and fashion and stuff like that?"

"Of course, duh." I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Okay, what's your favorite stylish?" Blaine asked smirking.

"Definitely Marc Jacobs. He is amazing—"

"God, I love him, last weekend I bought like a military bag from his new bag collection, it's so perfect." Blaine said smiling.

"Totally! He's the best." I smiled.

"You're nice," Blaine suddenly said, shyly.

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"Uh…I…" Blaine cleaned his throat. "Okay, I'm just gonna say it, I mean, we are gonna be roommates for a while, right?"

I nodded. "You can say anything you want."

"I mean…since we are roommates, and we apparently like the same stuff and I don't know…" Blaine laughed and he looked nervous. "And we are in a mental hospital, probably for the same reason…"

"Blaine, just say it." I said softly, anxious to know what he wanted to tell me.

"Okay, well maybe we should tell each other like…everything you know…talk to each other, I mean—" another nervous laugh, why was he nervous he didn't have to be. "I think we should be honest with each other…we are probably here because we didn't have anyone to talk to, so we could you know…tell each other everything. The things we always wanted to tell someone but we didn't have anyone who understood."

"I—"

"But if I'm overstepping just tell me, I mean, we just met, I'm like a stranger, I don't know—"

"I love this idea. It's a deal." I interrupted. I was weirdly comfortable around Blaine and I liked him.

Blaine nodded, but when he was about to say something, someone burst inside the room.

"I can hear you two talking from outside, you guys are disturbing the other kids. Time to sleep!" The woman whispered and quickly left.

I sighed. "Guess we should sleep?"

"Good night, Kurt."

* * *

_Well, this is actually my life story…Kurt and Blaine are representing the both things that I've been through…so…this is very intense to me, I am like cutting myself open and bleeding on the pages._

_I hope you guys like it. Please review._

_If this is too depressing tell me._

_Tell me if it sucks. It's all real anyway, all of this happened but all the Blaine and Kurt talk I just talked to myself, hahaha._

_Review, reviewwwwwww! xx_


	2. Chapter 2

Sleeping with Blaine's blanket made my nights the best in that hospital. I was able to properly sleep everyday. I mean I kept having this dream that Blaine cuddled me and it was great.

I opened my eyes slowly and stretched my arms. Then I realized where I was, what was happening, why I was there, what my life had turned into. I sighed sitting up in bed, already feeling like crying, looking at the window and realizing it was still dark. I didn't wanna cry because I wanted to leave, I wanted to cry because I didn't want to. I had been there for only 5 days and I wanted to stay there. Not there, with Blaine.

Blaine and I shared so many things it was mind blowing to have someone to talk to 24/7. I was happy, finally happy, I had someone who fully understood me and that made me frustrated. Because I was being ungrateful.

I caught myself crying after a while but I only realized I was crying a little too loud when Blaine asked what was wrong. He was awake too. Perfect timing.

"Kurt?" I heard him whispering and his footsteps getting closer.

I sighed trying to stop sobbing and crying but it seemed impossible. I squeezed the mattress with my hands but it all seemed to turn okay when I felt Blaine wrapping his arms around me and sitting by my side.

"What's wrong?" He asked letting me rest my head on his shoulder.

I didn't answer right away because I had to thought for a bit. I scoffed involuntarily and then smiled. "I'm such an ungrateful shit." I laughed/cried at the same time.

"You're not, you're not." Blaine stroke my arms and I felt like he wanted to whisper in my ear but was scared to. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"I-I..." I sighed, unable to talk.

"Remember our deal? No secrets, sweetie." He stroke my cheek, raising my chin so I could face him. "We're on the same boat, remember?"

I nodded.

"Is it because of Marcus? You know, I've been called a faggot so many times I don't even care anymore." Blaine smiled.

I chuckled softly, looking down at Blaine's hand. "It's not that. That was days ago."

"What is it, then?" Blaine asked softly, his hand now running through my hair.

"I'm happy." I whispered and buried my head on Blaine's chest.

Blaine hugged me and squeezed my back as he kept running his other hand through my hair. "Elaborate, please."

Blaine could make me laugh even when I was having a crisis and that's why I loved him...loved...loved...loved...Love. I've only known him for 6 days for Christ sake. But I've never told anyone what I told him...fuck it. There's nothing wrong with loving him if I don't show my love. It's not like I'll act like when I was crushing on Finn. I was a child then, now I'm a grown man.

"Kurt?" Blaine called and I probably had zoned out.

"Uh," I grunted, letting go of Blaine's embrace. "I feel ungrateful because I am happy in here and I was never happy before but my dad worked so much to give me an amazing life and it's not his fault he is in coma—"

I stopped talking when I felt Blaine's hands on my cheeks. His hands pressing against my cheek so I'd make a kissy face and he laughed. "Listen to me."

I hummed and he giggled again. He had a beautiful smile. He has a beautiful smile.

"You're not ungrateful. You didn't deserve anything you've been trough. Your dad loves you and did everything he did because he loves you but it's not your fault either that he's in coma, okay?" Blaine said firmly and ended with a smile, letting go of my face.

I nodded and smiled. "Okay..."

We stayed in silence for a bit and Blaine frowned at my brown empty bag. "Where are your clothes?"

"You mean your clothes?" I asked, smirking.

"Come on it was just two sweatpants and a sweater." Blaine chuckled.

"The nurse took it to the laundry." I explained.

"You can keep them, you know?" Blaine said with a smirk.

"What, no, no, they are yours, of course—"

"Come on, Kurt. They are just sweatpants."

I grinned. "You should keep them."

"Maybe I will, so I can smell you on my clothes." Blaine smiled.

I blushed furiously and Blaine pinched my cheeks when he saw it, making me laugh.

"We'll keep in touch when we leave, right?" Blaine asked.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." I was going to keep talking but Blaine jumped on top of me and hugged me tightly, making me giggle loudly.

He was now on top of me and my giggles stopped when I felt his fully hard cock against my thigh. "Blaine, is that—"

"Oh my god," Blaine whispered, quickly sitting up and covering his crotch with both of his hands. "I'm so sorry—"

"Do you need some help with that?" I asked, seriously and I have no idea what was going through my mind on that moment but I just said it.

Blaine looked up, blushing. "W-what?"

"You need some help? With your...you know...morning wood..." I said smirking.

As soon as Blaine heard that he jumped on top of me again and attached his lips to mine, kissing me deeply, his hands already on my hips.

I smiled against his lips before our tongues met and he was probably having the same problem as I was having. Smiling uncontrollably.

I giggled softly against his lips and he did too, both of us trying to properly kiss each other but when I felt Blaine's hard dick against my thigh the giggles turned into low moans.

I asked Blaine for entrance and he granted me, opening his mouth a little and letting me in. Blaine was an amazing kisser, his lips tasted like mint and his skin was oh so soft.

Blaine froze in his place and I did too when I heard a chair moving. Blaine quickly stood up and softly ran back to his bed, covering himself with his blanket and pretending he was asleep. I didn't move. I just stood there until 3 seconds later someone opened the door and frowned at me.

"What are you doing awake so late?" I couldn't properly see who was talking to me but it was a woman and I frowned at her too.

"Why are you awake?" I replied softly.

She grunted. "Go to bed, mister." She murmured and shut the door.

Then Blaine started giggling lowly and suddenly was jumping on my bed and wrapping his arms around my waist, his face really close to mine.

"Hi." He whispered, brushing his nose against mine.

"Hey," I whispered back looking down at his lips and biting my lips, wanting to taste his again. "You're still hard."

"I can't believe our first kiss was in a mental hospital..." Blaine whispered and I giggled.

"So you were planning our first kiss?" I asked smirking.

"Oh, of course. I was on a 12 steps plan of making you love me." Blaine smiled.

"Yeah?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, but thank god you stopped me on step 4." He whispered, his lips against my ear.

I chuckled. "How about that hand job, huh?" I asked shameless.

"I—"

Footsteps coming closer interrupted them again and now I was able to pretend I was asleep.

* * *

"How are you doing, Kurt?" The doctor asked me when he called me out of the school room to have a little chat.

"I'm great, actually." I said with a smile.

"The pills making you feel better?"

"Yes, yes." I smiled truthfully.

"I think you're going home in two or three days..."

I sighed deeply. I was kinda sad because I didn't want to leave Blaine.

"We've been afraid of letting you go because of your attitudes towards your roommate Blaine Anderson." He cleaned his throat.

"W-what?" I asked pretending to be clueless.

"So you're going to stay in another room."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "I'd rather sleep in the street."

"We don't want you to creat a bond with a person you'll probably never see again." The doctor explained.

"Blaine goes to the school that is rival to my school's glee club so yeah I'll be seeing him a lot. You know he was the only good thing that has happened in my life since before my mom died so, no I don't want another roommate."

The doctor looked up to someone that was behind Kurt and Kurt frowned and turned around to see what he was looking at. Blaine was standing there with a huge smile on his face.

"Okay, you can stay with him in the room but you two gotta follow the schedules okay? You have to promise you will and I will let you stay in the room you are."

Kurt nodded hard with a huge smile on his face. "Yes, thank you."

"Well, it's lunch time so..." The doctor looked through the papers on his hands and frowned. "Have a nice lunch." He told Kurt, walking away.

Kurt smiled at Blaine and sat by his side on the lunch table with the other guys. They didn't talk over lunch like usually because the boys made fun of them but they held each other's hands under the table and smirked as they ate as the stroke each other's hands.

When was finally room time after they spent almost 45 minutes watching the amazing world of gumball (which Blaine loved and Kurt just kept watching Blaine being adorably excited over the cartoon).

Kurt had just entered the room and Blaine took his hand and surprised him with a big and deep kiss, his hands moving up to Kurt's waist and Kurt's hands to the back of Blaine's neck.

"I can't believe this," Kurt chuckled against Blaine's mouth, pulling away.

"What? Is something wrong?" Blaine asked, wide opened eyes.

"No, no." Kurt whispered, his nose brushing against Blaine and his thumb slowly stroking the back of Blaine's neck. "I can't believe I found love in such a hopeless place."

Blaine laughed softly and squeezed Kurt's hand. "Just like the song."

"Don't compare our romance with a Rihanna song, Blaine." Kurt joked after pecking Blaine's lips again.

"You know what it feels like?" Blaine whispered, his eyes closed and his body enjoying the closure, loving Kurt's hot breath against his mouth.

"Hm?" Kurt hummed, brushing his lips against Blaine's.

"Like I've known you all my life." Blaine chuckled. "Like I could do anything with you."

"Yeah?" Kurt smiled widely but didn't open his eyes.

Blaine kissed Kurt's lips deeply, his hands going down to squeeze Kurt's ass making Kurt moan against Blaine's lips.

Kurt chuckled against Blaine's lips as his hands ran down Blaine's back. "This is so unreal."

"I—"

They were interrupted by the door hitting Kurt's back indicating someone was trying to open the door. Kurt stepped out of the way and Blaine frowned.

"Hi," the nurse smiled at them after opening the door. "Just checking if everything is okay."

"Everything is amazing."

* * *

"Your step mother is here to pick you up, you're free to go."

The worst part was that they didn't even let him say goodbye to Blaine but all he got was Blaine's phone number written on his waist with a sharpie Blaine's stole from their teacher.

Kurt was finally happy. He'd see Blaine because he was leaving the next day but the problem was that he'd have to go back home. Not home with his dad and Carole and Finn or with his dad and his mom. Home with that crazy bastard that doesn't have anything to do with Kurt and is there. Home where his brother takes his asshole friends to call him a faggot. Home where his step-mother is too depressed to defend him. Home where his father was in come. That was not home. That was hell.

But then he stepped out of the hospital and realized nothing inside that hospital mattered because now he was back to the real world. Back to the nightmare.


End file.
